Growing in Intimacy

                                              Growing in Intimacy


 

Many couples wistfully remember those sweet, innocent times before marriage that they were so interested in each other. They would go out of their way just to see each other. How does a couple get back to that state? In one sense you can’t because your motivation is not the same. In another sense, however, you can.

As the intimacy quiz revealed, you need to prioritize time to grow together. You actually need carve out time in your schedule to be together. It is a simple act of obedience for the husband to cleave to or cherish his wife. He will spend time with her to ‘know’ her more. The time will need to be cut out of other segments of life such as entertainment and work. Parents may need to reduce some of the time used carting the children to their many activities. Your relationship is important.
We believe there are three components to a growing marriage: Personal sharing, mutual understanding and deepening commitment. It is a cycle that goes round and round, growing deeper each time. Let’s look at these three important aspects of growing an intimate marriage.

• Personal Sharing

 If a couple would just talk more to each other, they would grow in their intimacy. Clearly, a major challenge to intimacy in our modern world is busyness. As long as man and woman allow their times together to be leftovers from the busy world, they may as well assume that there will not be much growth.

• Mutual Understanding

Depth of personal conversation allows us to dive deeper into the lives and experiences of our spouse. Sometimes when my wife feels she can’t tell me the whole story, she will write it down in a page or two and hand it to me. This way I can’t interrupt her thought process. She also has a chance to clarify her own thoughts.

• Deepening Commitment

Just as a child cannot grow into an adult overnight, so the couple cannot mature in their intimacy through one or two special experiences like a wedding. It is a life-long process.